When did it become so unfashionable to talk about the great side of parenting?
The truth is, in a world where we support mothers properly, where parents pull their weight equally, where society offers proper advice and help and childcare, maybe it wouldn’t be this hard… or we’d feel more comfortable talking about the great bits. When I’ve had a sleepless night with the boy it actively helps me to remember how much he makes me laugh or how sweet his cuddles are.
But maybe, if we stopped fetishising self-sacrifice, people would feel able to talk about the joy and delight that comes with having children rather than just the drudgery. Maybe then we could do more for mums on the edge of their capacity to cope than simply calling them heroic. Though I’d gladly walk in front of a bus for him or endure untold pain to keep him safe, I’ve also realised that I’m the best mum to my little boy when I’m happy,when I’m barely coping. I have the most resources to approach the hard bits of parenting constructively when I feel genuinely supported and valued. And I don’t want to miss a single second of joy in his precious childhood because I’m too busy being buried by the weight of society’s expectations of mothers to peep above the parapet.
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