In the name of research, I messaged past lovers to ask if they had ever faked it with me
Hello. My name is Kate Lister and I have faked orgasms. It feels good to get it out there. What’s more, I’m not on my own. I’m not even in the minority.58.8 per cent of women, I have faked an orgasm with a partner. I don’t know if I needed to qualify that it was with a partner. Is anyone out there faking orgasms on their own? I can’t imagine so, for the simple reason that research showsBut this becomes a very different picture when we invite other people to the party.
This raises a number of interesting questions. Were any of the men I was faking with faking it themselves? And if they were faking it, and I was faking it, just what the hell were we doing? Was the whole experience just an audition tape for the kind of sex we wish we were having together?and in the interest of trying to find the answer to this, I messaged some past lovers to ask if they had ever faked it with me.
As I have got older, I started to realise the problem with treating sex like a staged production. Yes, your partner gets a temporary ego boost, but you’re not really doing anyone any favours. Not only do you cheat yourself out of a happy ending, but no one wants a lover who is faking it. So, it seems that most of us fakers are often just too damn polite to say we are not going to come. Which is crazy, because if there is one place you shouldn’t have to mind your manners, it’s during sex.Not only do men perceive their ejaculation as the “expected” way to end sex, but the stereotype that men are always horny and always up for sex meant that they were often saying yes when they really wanted to say no.
So how are they doing this? Faking is ridiculously easy for women. You don’t have to be a Rada graduate to know what to do. You moan and writhe and roll your eyes back in your head.. When porn stars squirt like the Trevi fountain, it’s often faked. They achieve it by holding water in the vagina and then pushing it out while rapidly rubbing the vulva like a deranged scratch DJ. That is some serious method acting, but most of us don’t require props.
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