'I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.'
My bed is worth more than my car, just in case you’re curious what my priorities areI have this routine where I make loud yawny sounds and announce I’m going to bed at least 10 times before I actually go to bed. It’s like a cute little pep talk to myself and everyone loves it.
What if Neapolitan ice cream just dumped strawberry for caramel, no one would be mad at thatIf I die and they find my vibrator I'll be more embarrassed about the duct tapemy brain: I transferred from Los Angeles your school has no gymnastics team this is a last resortThe Wi-Fi is out so I guess I’ll have to go harvest DVDs from the field the way my grandmother used to do.
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