Lured in by the promise of bee costumes and ball pits, I have decided to raise my very own child in The Sims 4.
Squillions of people have raised babies so it can’t be that hard, right? Also I was a child once so I’m basically an expert. This diary is going to be a walk in the park.
I haven’t given much thought to the logistics of acquiring a baby other than outlining a vague ‘Boot Up The Sims—???—Get Baby’ process, where ‘???’ would just present itself. This is likely why I found myself four hours into Project Baby and was still tinkering around with my lawn plants.I should explain which bits of DLC I’m playing with before we go further.
This is when a red-haired woman jogs past my house. I start making friendly overtures and, over the course of that chinwag, I find out that this new acquaintance is family-oriented. That seals her fate. I step up the flirting and pay attention to whatever it is she’s talking about. The make out potato plan works and the woman agrees to become my girlfriend. This level of commitment means I should learn her name. It is Katrina. Please do not ask me her last name.
After a post-woohoo nap I decide to ingratiate myself with Katrina’s friends by making veggie burgers on the grill in the yard. It seems to be working! I have a burger, Katrina has a burger, some other people who I stood near in the hall for a while all have a burger—this is the dream.Then the grill catches fire. I have set fire to my rich girlfriend’s fancy mansion and have absolutely no way to extinguish the flames that are currently raging.
I ask our UK editor-in-chief, Samuel Roberts, for advice. He thinks I should try to marry rich and take the mansion for myself. That is a horrible, mercenary plan and I immediately disapprove . Instead, I decide to double down on romance. One of the daughters bugs out on our porch and just stands there with her arms outstretched. I try to get Katrina to take her anger out on the daughter because she might as well be useful while she’s bugged out.
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