It feels strange to mourn my mother's death, while watching the world grieve for Pele ✒️ stefanohat for ipaperviews
A key turning point on this journey was the death of Princess Diana in 1997 and the extraordinary eruption of collective open grief that ensued. Britain had never witnessed such scenes before. They evoked memories of perhaps the most famous previous explosion of wild grief over a celebrity’s passing: the heart-throb Rudolph Valentino in 1926. His death led to thousands mourning him across America and even riots.
Grieving for someone we don’t know is a curious thing. When we know the deceased, we clearly mourn that individual’s character, personality and absence in our daily lives. When we mourn a public figure, we lament an idea, a concept, a belief in what they represent to – or about – us. As a child, I only shed such a tear once: for John Lennon. Despite not being the biggest Beatles fan, I suddenly understood that he stood for so much I believed in.
Subsequently, I have cried at two public deaths: Robin Williams, who made me laugh like no other, but carried such sadness with him; and the inimitable David Bowie, who inspired me to change my life and showed me “the possible” more than anyone beyond family or school. Of course, it’s not the same. Unlike Ma, I did not speak to David Bowie at least once every day; he did not make me endless plates of pasta, or sew the hems on every suit I bought. Perhaps, in the end, mourning is always about what the deceased represented to us. And, in the immortal words of Pele, my Ma represented the most profound of all concepts: “Love. Love. Love”.
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