Don't wait to be swept away by spontaneous passion, says sexologist Emily Morse - what works is monthly sex talks and 'desire inventories'
Her book, pulls together everything she has learned, which once enabled her to have 23 orgasms in a single day. Twenty three! The book is not about how to have 23 orgasms – instead it encourages the reader to understand themselves as a sexual being, building what she calls your sexual intelligence.
You could also take a “desire inventory”, she suggest – which means taking note of what you need in order to feel turned on. Do you need good conversation first? Or does dressing up help? Or do you get“I know that if the air conditioners are on full blast when I walk into my partner’s house I’m not going to want it. Being in a room that’s dirty or smells is going to zap our sexual energy, as is hearing the kids or worrying about the neighbours.
Morse suggests talking away from the bedroom – and bearing in mind the conversation could be embarrassing
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