At 43 and with two young children, Rachel Tompkins started to notice she was becoming more fearful and wanted to find out why - and how to fix it
. Fast forward 20 years with two children in tow, and “be careful” seems to be my mantra, both internally and externally.I was terrified about the dangers that lay ahead. These fears weren’t exactly allayed by the fact that I had not one, but two, accidents on the slopes, both of which required hospital attention.I found myself mid-way through a giant inflatable course on a lake when I stopped, frozen in fear, paralysed by the thought of falling off and injuring myself.
“Feeling scared is the activation of your flight, fright, freeze response,” explains Zoë Aston, psychotherapist, mental health consultant, and author of. “Your nervous system is telling you that you are in danger and you may need to react quickly in order to survive.” “The other thing that can happen as you age, and is very common if you have your own children, is you are reminded of fear from your own childhood,” she explains. “If you had a parent who you feared or maybe a parent who seemed fearful a lot of the time you might carry this with you and the older you get and the closer you are to having children of your own, the more likely that sense of fear will pop up again.”In her book, Zoë Aston offers step-by-step “workouts” for most things.
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