'There was nothing specific that brought on this particular panic—and that’s what is often so terrorizing about them,' writes Matt Gutman.
Gutman is ABC News’s chief national correspondent. A multi-award winning reporter, Gutman contributes regularly to World News Tonight with David Muir, 20/20, Good Morning America, and Nightline. He is the author ofrouble started in the form of rivulets of sweat dampening the waistband of my underwear. It was a bluebird afternoon in Phoenix in December of 2020, mid 60s, desert dry, and my heart was jackhammering against my ribcage. Breathing felt like I was sucking air through a stir straw.
In the months prior to that Phoenix afternoon, I had given myself a crash course in panic. I read medical journals, books on evolutionary science, how-to guides. But I hadn’t yet summoned the courage to reveal my secret. Only my wife and my therapist knew of my hidden affliction. A panic attack is one of the few mental health phenomena that trick a sufferer into thinking they are going to die. And sadly, its chronic underdiagnosis increases the suffering of millions. Kelly Kropholler spent 17 years under the headset as an emergency dispatcher in California answering many hundreds of calls for both panic and heart attacks. Panic so closely mimicked a heart attack that it fooled even her practiced ears.
My own first brush with panic took place as I was defending my senior thesis in college. For years afterward, as my career in radio and TV progressed, I suffered what I thought of as “nerves” during my live reports. It would be 13 years before I would put a name to those bouts, recognizing them as the classic symptoms of panic disorder.
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