It's not selfish to put your own needs above a loved one. Here's what to tell yourself if you feel bad about it.
If there is ever a time when setting boundaries is necessary, it’s the festive season. Every year comes with high expectations of love, cheer and good vibes – but that is not the reality for many people. It can also be a time of intense stress.in town and parties to attend, this can often mean violations of personal space or uncomfortable dinner conversations that turn into arguments.
“I don’t know that there’s a time when guilt is not warranted, because warranted to me means validation for your feelings,” says, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City. “And I think whatever you’re feeling is valid.” Without this, “you would then wrestle with feelings of enabling their behaviour and feeling complacent in their negative treatment of you,” Henry added, which would add a whole different level of frustration.It’s important to remember that the people in your life who want to be in your life for the right reasons won’t react badly to boundaries. Even if they have a questionable reaction at first, they’ll be able to come back to you with a fresh mind and understanding viewpoint.
Not only are you listening to your own needs when setting this boundary, but you’re affirming to your loved one that you do care about them, which in turn can also help if you are dealing with feelings of guilt.
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