Two sisters with two different views of the same mother speak to Woman's Hour.
‘For 40 years, I thought it was my fault’: Coming to terms with our narcissistic mother
“She would say things like, ‘Your friend’s mother agrees with me that you are...’, whatever it might be, ‘selfish, lazy, vain’. She made me feel that I was selfish if I had fun. And one of the most significant things was that I was the only one of the three daughters to keep in touch with my father after my parents separated, and she made me feel really bad about that”.Charlotte recalls what she describes as the “biggest single incident” to have affected her childhood.
Louise describes her mother as “proud, slightly domineering on occasion, vulnerable at times, volatile, yes. Wanting to make sure that situation centred around her when it needn’t necessarily have done so." “It's good to revisit it, but I don't want to dwell on it either. Our mother died a few years ago, which in one way is bad, she has no right of reply. But at the same time, it allows us the freedom to talk things through,” Louise says. “I'm influenced by her, but I've also had a number of years without her, a number of years in a marriage, and a number of years with four children, which keeps you busy. So, there are other things to think about and look forward.
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