As a parent of a trans child, all I want is for the NHS to properly support and care for them 🔵 Ultimately, I hope that all trans kids get, at the very least, the opportunity that my son has had
In the summer of 2015, and what seems a lifetime ago, my son announced over text that he was trans. I was, like almost every other parent of a trans child that I’ve spoken to since, shocked as hell. My life changed instantly and I embarked on a journey of learning everything I could about what being trans meant, and how to best support my child.
Things were easier then. We only had to wait for five months before his first appointment with the NHS Gender Identity Development Service, something which seems a pipe-dream now, whereIt wasn’t perfect. We experienced variation between clinicians and their approaches, overwhelmed and over-stretched staff, plus incessant and unnecessary personal questions. It was noticeable that the whole service needed a radical overhaul.
Part of the problem was in the excruciating repetitive and unnecessarily personal questions. I remember my son counting on his fingers how many people he had had to speak to about deeply personal and invasive things, in order to jump through the hoops to get treatment. There were more fundamental problems too – the same clinicians that assessed whether my son would be allowed to be referred for puberty blockers or hormones were also tasked with providing therapeutic support. It was clear to me and other parents I met in the service that young people were never going to fully open up to those they saw as the “gatekeeper”‘ to the medical support they needed.
I also heard stories from other parents with children experiencing significant gender-related distress, who were told there was no help for them. Conversations in private support groups were filled up with questions from parents trying to support dysphoric, depressed, and mentally spiralling teens, who had nowhere else to turn while on the several-years long waiting list.
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