Pro-tip: Stop trying to win.
If you’re mad as hell , one of the best things you can do is try to take a deepand remind yourself of your ultimate goal here. You might practice diaphragmatic breathing, which activates your rest-and-digest response . For instance, you can put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Then breathe in and out slowly through your nose. Doing this gives you an opportunity to calm down and see the situation more holistically.
“When we blow off our partner, minimise their concerns, or we're dismissive about [what they’re saying], they'll end up having to bring it up to us several times," Dr. Jamea says. “And every time they bring it up, it might get louder and louder,” which can turn a minor issue into a significant relationship problem. Instead of dismissing concerns or ignoring them, try to take a deep breath and listen to what your partner is saying .
This is a go-to for any difficult conversation. When you frame unfavorable feedback about the other person, it can come off as critical instead of constructive. Using statements that focus on you can help the comments feel less harsh. Before you get too creative with “I” statements, note that they shouldn’t include things like “I hate it when...” Instead, try phrases like, “When X happens, I feel Y.
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